i accompanied my granny to the clinic last wednesday when i chanced upon an article.
An article that gave me answers that i was looking for.
Answers that addressed the very questions in my mind.


Something about me that nobody ever knew was--> All along, i aspire to be a wild girl. HahAa..
*Jaws dropped and you laugh in disbelief*
but it's true.

bf is the only one who knows my secret but he never understood why i 一心一意 want to be a wild ger. I cannot fathom it myself too.
i tried my best to look like one, but i think i failed miserably... i tried to do the bad stuff but i cant bring myself to...

Not until i read what im going to share with you now....
that i finally understood why i felt that way, and this 'so-called' aspiration of mine, wasnt actually to be someone wild or evil...
but to be true to my heart

i had the urge and that's why i tore that page out from the 2006 dated 'HerWorld' magazine.


The MAKEOVER of the GOOD GIRLS
Do you have the Good Girl Syndrome?

"the good girl always puts others first while the bad girl thinks of herself. The good girl is chained to others' approval; the bad girl does what she wants. The good girl is 'pure'; the bad girl is wild and erotic."


well, no prizes for guessing who gets more outta life.
Familiar? hands up if u are the goody-2-shoes

Saying yes to the little devil that sits on ur shoulder to be selfish sometimes acts as a safety valve.
cos it stops you from exploding when pressure builds up. What pressure?
u ask.
Pressure from the stress, tension and resentment from being nice and trying to please everyone.
It can drive u nuts.


I'm not saying there's anything wrong with pleasing people, but there is a difference between being a nice chap who occasionally tries to make others happy, and being chronically addicted to gaining the approval of others.


i look at myself.
i actually felt ashamed and damn lousy. And guess what? im feeing lousy for feeling lousy.
I'm blaming myself that all along, i was trying to live up to the expectations of others, to the extent that i didnt listen to my heart.
I want to make a decision to change my life. I'm not sure if i could, but i'm sure for once, it is time.

It is time not to worry if everyone likes me 24/7.
It is time not to be always abiding and obliging (to the extent of making myself feel uncomfortable or lousy with myself)
It is time to move my arse from the backseat to where i take charge of the steering wheel of my life.
It is time that my confidence no longer solely comes from the approval and acceptance of others.
It is time to make clear my views, be firm in my stand and learn to say 'No'.


the only backlash that i'm concerned about resulting is,
i end up becoming too full of myself.



i pray to God that humility never leaves me.